One of the symptoms of the abused and neglected child are the LIES! It goes far beyond the "normal" lies and stories that most children tell. They lie about everything - even things that don't need to be lied about.
We had felt like we were making some progress in this area, but the last few weeks have proven that the problem is escalating, and creating a situation that is potentially harmful to our own well being.
Several years ago one of "our kids" older sisters who lives in NO with their mom, asked the kids stepfather if she could come here to live. When he said no, she told authorities that he had sexually abused her. This resulted in an investigation by CPS. Our girls were very aware of what had transpired and the chaos and hurt that their big sister was able to inflict on their stepfather.
When our G12 turned her lies on us, we had no choice. We cannot open ourselves up to this type of accusation. We will still be able to spend time with her, but it will be at stepfather's house. It makes us very sad not to be able to have her around.
We think that G12 feels trapped in a triangle - she isn't sure who she should be loyal to; her big sister "mom"~ her stepfather ~ or us. We feel that taking ourselves out of this triangle might be beneficial to G12 in that she may be forced to bond with her stepfather, something that she has not done to this point.
For those of you who know and love G12, we hope you understand and continue to love her as we do!
S
Showing posts with label RAD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RAD. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Emotional Maturity
Our B6 is a rather typical barely-six year old, although we see lots of toddler type behavior in him.
This morning after breakfast he pulled his shirt up to show his sister how full his tummy way.
G12 pull up her shirt and say "look at my tummy!" It was not said in a big-sister sort of way - - it was said in a toddler way.
It is difficult to see a 12 year old girl - tall, slender and developing, but hear the chatter of a toddler.
We see so many examples of kids who have been emotionally neglected. Some behaviors are much younger than their age, and at times we see them regress to even younger behavior. As much as possible, we accept this, and at times we attempt to gently lead them to "older" behavior. Reprimands are saved for the most critical situations.
There is a belief that children who do not receive proper nurturing from (and possibly before) birth, must be given the opportunity to revert back and be allowed to work their way up through the infantile and toddler behaviors in order to be able to continue growing emotionally.
Share your experiences ~ leave a comment!
S
This morning after breakfast he pulled his shirt up to show his sister how full his tummy way.
G12 pull up her shirt and say "look at my tummy!" It was not said in a big-sister sort of way - - it was said in a toddler way.
It is difficult to see a 12 year old girl - tall, slender and developing, but hear the chatter of a toddler.
We see so many examples of kids who have been emotionally neglected. Some behaviors are much younger than their age, and at times we see them regress to even younger behavior. As much as possible, we accept this, and at times we attempt to gently lead them to "older" behavior. Reprimands are saved for the most critical situations.
There is a belief that children who do not receive proper nurturing from (and possibly before) birth, must be given the opportunity to revert back and be allowed to work their way up through the infantile and toddler behaviors in order to be able to continue growing emotionally.
Share your experiences ~ leave a comment!
S
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